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Showing posts from 2019

占有欲

打从一开始,我已经知道,我是一个占有欲很强很强很强,很无敌强的一个女生。 我想要占有:- 不只是你的想法, 我更想要占有你做决定是最终的原因是我; 不只是你做的东西,我更想要你做任何东西都是因为我,不是另外的人。 不只是对我好,我还要只是对我好,更不允许对任何一个人比我好! 我不喜欢与别人分享一个男朋友。 所以我很在意,为什么我男朋友听妈妈的话做决定到底要不要离开firm. 我很在意他为什么听别人说韩国买不值得而不买,而不是听我长篇大论后直接就决定 我很在意为什么他问了我的意见,再问他妈妈意见的时候,他因为他妈妈说的话,而改变主意! 我希望, 我是他的独一无二 他听我的话做决定!因为我的话而决定! 虽然有时候我觉得他很难做人,但,人家真的占有欲很强啊!!!!

Emotional Blast

It was a complete complex feeling. I feel like I been complaining very much in the relationship - " Guilty" I feel like I been very emotional in handling conflict. I tend to victimize myself. - FML I feel like it has reach the top of my bottle - " Angry" I feel like I don't deserve to be ignored when i express my feeling, yet, I still being ignored - "Disappointed"  I feel like I am not being understand by someone who called him honey - " Hurtful" I feel like I am not perfect enough to be with him - " Sad" All the mixed and complex feelings rushed in my mind, my heart and my emotion totally out of control. I shoo out all my feelings by typing it out to show how angry, how hurt, how dissapointed, how sad I am. But i realised, it was merely on my side emotion, because after typing sooo much, I was being totally ignored. That make me even hurt and dissapointed. To a certain extend that I wish i could put a fullstop to...

Aloysius Pang 1990-2019

"黑色,它不是冷漠,反而是一種保護色,遮蔽所有脆弱。 黑暗中所流的黑色眼淚不會被看見,悲傷也唯有留給自己… ‘’ Life is fragile. We know that fact, but it not going to affect any of us at any point of time until something trigger. The passing on of Aloysius Pang do wake me up from the slumber life that I have been living in. It does makes me realised that :- Life is so unpredictable, at this moment, this second, we are healthy, but no guarantee that the next second, whats going to happen (he been texting his gf, sending photos of himself to the gf, but god knows, next day, he suffered serious injuries and have to fight with it for 3 days until he return to heaven to be the brightest angel). To me, it is much easier to accept it when it is due to sickness. At least, you are given the warning and time to express what in your mind to your love one. The love story of aloysius and Jiaqi has been the highlight of this whole incident. Viewing Jiaqi's Instagram's stories, it broke my heart. Imagining myself i...