Long Lost Update & In Memorial
So much emotions these few days / past weeks.
Having these mixed emotion ever since the day he was admitted to Hospital for the 3rd time with extreme worse condition and after doctor gave the advice of getting ready for something bad to happen in any time soon.
The pain of losing someone in our life is somehow very painful; no matter with or without any hints / any preparation to it.
Ever since He fall down from stairs, we knew the condition is not going to be good, but personally for me, things happen too abrupt. From he able to talk / to raise his hand to say hi and nod his head when I visit him in hospital, to the moment he cant recognise me, to he only able to open his eyes for 15 mins to less than 1mins, to he cant even open his eyes to respond to surrounding sound, it took less than 3 months or maybe 4 months. My heartache each time i see him suffer from heavy breathing and gasping for oxygen.
Remembering back then, I told Andy, see how lovely he is, he hold his wife hand each time they go out, and Andy will purposely took their photo for me. Because for me, i find that its a true love, a 60 years (estimate) of true love story. The 1st time i saw him, he smile at me very politely, and nod his head as usual. He gossip to his wife over the phone telling his wife that his grandson has a gf. Each time we have dinner, he will just quietly sitting there to eat his rice and after he finished his dinner, he will take a cup and pour a cup of tea to drink and i will always be there to help him (or i should say trying to offer help to him).
The most vivid memories about him was I hold him to walk from car park to the restaurant. Never once in my life that I hold someone at old age. But he was so nice to turn and look at me and smile at me. That face, i can never forget in my life. Am glad that i force Andy to ask him question.
What happen that day was, it was before CNY 2018. He was so bored at home that he asked "Andy, come chat with yeye". i was over the phone with Andy. I forced Andy to ask him whether he thinks im pretty or not. His reply melt my heart:-
Andy : 爷爷，我女朋友美吗？
yeye : 美！你女朋友哪里不美！
he gave the answer with a very affirmative tone.
Another scene that i remember the most is when he 1st admitted into Hospital, we bought him a pao. He introduce us to the nurse when we went to visit him in hospital, then continue to munch on his pao.
Tears rolling down when all these flash back came to my mind (this is not the 1st time LOL! talking to Andy about him last week thru phone after visited him in hospital, and my tears just roll down). How much i wish i could have spend more time with him to create more memories. Seeing him lying in the coffin, trying hard to hold my tears and not to utter any words or express my emotion to anyone because i know people who knew him are much more sad or much more hurt than I am.
Went to the parlor for 2 days continuously, observing how people trying to help to offer him the last respect. Felt that he was blessed with all these people. He has gone for good, save him from all the suffer. I do understand, he has gone for good. I wish nothing but only for him to go peacefully and proudly that he has very good son, daughter in law and grandchildren. 爷爷，一路好走... 下辈子有缘再见. 感谢你给我如此美好的回忆。
Never in my life that i address someone as 爷爷， and he is the 1st. I am a person with heavy heart to address someone with such a close "name". But I do take him as my own grandfather, wtf, i dont even have any memories with my only alive (now) grandmother LOL!
Have been very thankful to my ever charming boyfriend who never say no when i request to visit him in hospital. He has been fetching me from office to hospital every 2-3 times a week. I really regret for not visit him on friday after work. I didnt know it is the last time i could see him when he is alive. sigh... so the last visit was on tuesday (3 days before he passed on).
Im really proud of my boyfriend who giving so much assistance and help to the family at this hardest time. He make me fall for him even more at time when I see he offers help to his families. Heheee.. i found that he looks really charming when he stand beside his brother at the side of the coffin to show respect to people who came to pay their last respect. LOL it sound abit wrong but ya...
My dear bi, hope you stay strong and i know u are trying to hold ur tears and emotion. Im sorry for being the weak 1. From the day when he couldnt hold his tears at time when yeye cant recognise him, I know, he is trying to be strong. But bi, he gone for good. We will always remember him in our heart. <3
Oh btw, these few days, i have met his relatives. some is awful, some is nice.
Having these mixed emotion ever since the day he was admitted to Hospital for the 3rd time with extreme worse condition and after doctor gave the advice of getting ready for something bad to happen in any time soon.
The pain of losing someone in our life is somehow very painful; no matter with or without any hints / any preparation to it.
Ever since He fall down from stairs, we knew the condition is not going to be good, but personally for me, things happen too abrupt. From he able to talk / to raise his hand to say hi and nod his head when I visit him in hospital, to the moment he cant recognise me, to he only able to open his eyes for 15 mins to less than 1mins, to he cant even open his eyes to respond to surrounding sound, it took less than 3 months or maybe 4 months. My heartache each time i see him suffer from heavy breathing and gasping for oxygen.
Remembering back then, I told Andy, see how lovely he is, he hold his wife hand each time they go out, and Andy will purposely took their photo for me. Because for me, i find that its a true love, a 60 years (estimate) of true love story. The 1st time i saw him, he smile at me very politely, and nod his head as usual. He gossip to his wife over the phone telling his wife that his grandson has a gf. Each time we have dinner, he will just quietly sitting there to eat his rice and after he finished his dinner, he will take a cup and pour a cup of tea to drink and i will always be there to help him (or i should say trying to offer help to him).
The most vivid memories about him was I hold him to walk from car park to the restaurant. Never once in my life that I hold someone at old age. But he was so nice to turn and look at me and smile at me. That face, i can never forget in my life. Am glad that i force Andy to ask him question.
What happen that day was, it was before CNY 2018. He was so bored at home that he asked "Andy, come chat with yeye". i was over the phone with Andy. I forced Andy to ask him whether he thinks im pretty or not. His reply melt my heart:-
Andy : 爷爷，我女朋友美吗？
yeye : 美！你女朋友哪里不美！
he gave the answer with a very affirmative tone.
Another scene that i remember the most is when he 1st admitted into Hospital, we bought him a pao. He introduce us to the nurse when we went to visit him in hospital, then continue to munch on his pao.
Tears rolling down when all these flash back came to my mind (this is not the 1st time LOL! talking to Andy about him last week thru phone after visited him in hospital, and my tears just roll down). How much i wish i could have spend more time with him to create more memories. Seeing him lying in the coffin, trying hard to hold my tears and not to utter any words or express my emotion to anyone because i know people who knew him are much more sad or much more hurt than I am.
Went to the parlor for 2 days continuously, observing how people trying to help to offer him the last respect. Felt that he was blessed with all these people. He has gone for good, save him from all the suffer. I do understand, he has gone for good. I wish nothing but only for him to go peacefully and proudly that he has very good son, daughter in law and grandchildren. 爷爷，一路好走... 下辈子有缘再见. 感谢你给我如此美好的回忆。
Never in my life that i address someone as 爷爷， and he is the 1st. I am a person with heavy heart to address someone with such a close "name". But I do take him as my own grandfather, wtf, i dont even have any memories with my only alive (now) grandmother LOL!
Have been very thankful to my ever charming boyfriend who never say no when i request to visit him in hospital. He has been fetching me from office to hospital every 2-3 times a week. I really regret for not visit him on friday after work. I didnt know it is the last time i could see him when he is alive. sigh... so the last visit was on tuesday (3 days before he passed on).
Im really proud of my boyfriend who giving so much assistance and help to the family at this hardest time. He make me fall for him even more at time when I see he offers help to his families. Heheee.. i found that he looks really charming when he stand beside his brother at the side of the coffin to show respect to people who came to pay their last respect. LOL it sound abit wrong but ya...
My dear bi, hope you stay strong and i know u are trying to hold ur tears and emotion. Im sorry for being the weak 1. From the day when he couldnt hold his tears at time when yeye cant recognise him, I know, he is trying to be strong. But bi, he gone for good. We will always remember him in our heart. <3
Oh btw, these few days, i have met his relatives. some is awful, some is nice.
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